New Story - Through loving, we are loved.

Through loving, we are loved.

I looked into those admiring dark eyes. The colour of the darkest pearl never failed to mesmerise and enchant me. They made me wonder whether the rest of the universe could ever be more beautiful than her eyes each time I look into them.

I reached for a strand of her beautiful black hair which had came out of her messy ponytail. Tucking her hair behind her ears made me feel very happy for some unknown reason. It made me very content and excited.

I sighed. Why must she be everything that is right for me and yet, she’s all wrong for me at the same time? Is loving her a test? How do I pass this test? By loving her with more love than the world could ever hold or loving her in secret for the fear of hurting her with my feelings?

She smiled at me. The setting sun shines its last rays in the park we were in. Is it the same for me? Should I stop loving her like the setting sun and let some guy make her happy? I know that, like the setting sun, I’ll love her again after that. Just like a rising sun again. I sighed.

Looking into her beautiful heart shape face, I know I’ve found everything there is to be found in my life. Her face holds more beauty than anything the world can offer me. I am in love with her and nothing else matters but that truth.

I don’t know if she feels the same way for me. I can not make her love me. Love is free will. She’s free to love anyone. I’m not going to make her choose me just because she doesn’t want me hurt.

I don’t want her to feel like she’s being a hypocrite by lying to me. I’d rather be in pain than letting her be in pain. Any pain inflicted upon her will kill me. My hand which she held in hers twitched. My hand wanted to take hers and press them to the place where my heart beats.

I want to let her hands rest there and tell her that my heart is all her for the taking. But I can’t. I can never do that because that will be selfish. We have been sitting on this bench, not moving for almost an hour.

The sun has set and it’s twilight. I knew instinctively, that this is the time to tell her. I looked into her eyes again, and I was tongue-tied. How can I ever tell her I love her when each time I look into her eyes, I’m speechless at the beauty of them?

I shook my head and whispered into her ears for fear of being tongue-tied should I look into her eyes. I whispered so softly that I could barely hear it, “I love you”. She shook her head and giggled.

I felt a pang in my chest. She’s laughing at me. She looked into my tortured expression and said, “I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing because it took you the whole day just to whisper those three words”.

They both of us laughed harmoniously together. She tugged my chin asking me to look into her eyes again. I stopped laughing and I looked into her eyes, trying to make my thoughts coherent. “I love you too but it’s not enough to make us more than friends”, she whispered.

I waited for the pain that ought to be searing through me but no pain came. I realised that her words made me feel happy. Not as jubilant as I would have been should she told me she loved me as much as I love her, but content enough not to feel the pain.

I know she will never love me enough to change the fact that we will only remain as friends but I think that’s enough for me. Being friends with her will be enough for me for the rest of eternity. I know that.