Drama Drama Drama

Okay. Gosh. You wont believe what just happened! Erm, how do I start..

ASDFGHJKL I was chosen to act in this short film which will be aired on astro. SO YEAH. xD

Mind you, I'm not showing off. I kept this a secret from everyone.. until I was sure. I just felt like blogging, and et voila~ A blog update about what's happening in my life right now.

It started with a harmless tryout at an audition held by this director who's an ex-Georgian. Just tried out for fun. Didn't give it much thought initially. But then, WHAM! A text from the director, telling me I got chosen. *insert le random, loud squeal*

So today was Day 1 out of the two days of shooting. Let me tell you, it's fun. Tiring but fun. I will never be able to watch anything that has been filmed the same way again. Every scene is like a new adventure and every time you film it, it's not exactly the same. It's different, your posture, your lines, there's a little subtle difference each time that most of the time, only you will notice.

But I can say, that being an actress is a little overrated. It's not easy. Life is not a breeze. And this is coming from a sixteen year old (barely) who has had ONE shooting for a short film. But it was fun. And I'd do it again, any day. That's all for now.

A

Oh How I Miss You

Today is your birthday. Today was the day God created someone I felt so attuned to. Today was the day He set you free into the world. 

I don't know where we stand now. I don't know what we are. I don't even know what I want. But I do know one thing, I am glad you were born. I am glad I was given an opportunity to meet you. To get to know what a wonderful person you are. Sixteen years ago, on a tiny island called Penang, you were born. And I'm glad. 

I feel like I walking through water. Like I'm just having a bad nightmare. Because I actually texted you. But how I wish I was not such a wimp. How I wish I called rather than just send a measly text. How I wish I called and sang for you at the top of my lungs. I could go on forever about how I wish things were. But they aren't the way I want it, now are they? 

I know you're mad at me. I even have a rough idea why. But believe me, I still care. I know I'm a grouch, and all the things I'm doing to you are hurting you. But sweety, you'll always be my sister. Sister from a different mother, a different father and a different culture. But still my sister. Always. 

Remember my promise to you? That I want to get you a puppy? That we will go to SPCA together and get you a puppy since you're brother is away? I planned it all out in my head. But that's the past isn't it? But I won't stop praying. I will keep hoping. Maybe one day, the hope will die out. Fade away, blew away.. but for now, I'm still hoping. Still praying. 

I mean what I texted you. I hope you're happy. Now, and always. Forever. God bless you. And happy birthday. I love you. 

Oh How I Miss You. 

A 

Laughing with you is where I want to be right now. 

[H]old [O]n [P]ain [E]nds

Hope. Simple isn't it? Have you ever heard of the saying, "When you reach the bottom , do not be in despair, because then, the only way to go is up?". Well, I feel like I have hit rock bottom. Allah SWT is seriously testing me right now. He knows I'm strong enough, but he still wants to test me. 

One: You left me. Jaan, you left me without another word. It still stings. Today, it's been more than weeks, but damn, it still hurts. Like a wound that never heals. I'm sorry. Maaf karo. 

Two: I'm sorry, kakak. I'm sorry if I disappointed you. It is not my wish to do so. I'm merely trying my best to not end up hurt anymore. I can't keep going on like this. But believe me, kak, there's not a day that passes by without the thought of you passing through my head. What are u doing right now or how are you coping with life. Those things run like a never ending loop in my head. I miss you. I truly do. But I'm making baby steps towards independence. However, I cannot lie to myself. One word from you and all my will would crumble to dust. A part of me wish for this to happen, another part don't. Ironic isn't it? 

Three: To my best friend (I hope you don't mind that I'm still calling you that. Reality is hard to get used to), I'm sorry for whatever I did. If I ever hurt you, I hope God repays back all the times I hurt you to me. I don't know and probably never will know the reason why this is happening to us but I want you to know I'm sorry. For anything and everything. Especially for letting go. Because that is what I'm doing right now, letting go. 

Anyone else I have hurt throughout the whole time I have been moody, grouchy, hurtful, bitchy and mean.. I'm truly sorry. Forgive me. For I was going through a rough spot. It is not an excuse for me to take it out on you guys, but I'm still sorry. Truly sorry. 

I want to promise myself that starting tomorrow, 25th April 2012, I shall be a stronger person. I shall. Amin. 

A

Demanding? You can say that! ;D

Don't care if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend right now.
I don't care if you are a guy or a woman or Michael Jackson.
Just read this, it will make a difference.
If only everyone could see this and understand it.


When she stares at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you like a dummy cause she
thinks shes stronger than you
Grab her and don't let go

When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you
Give her your attention

When she pulls away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she steals your favorite hoodie
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she says that she loves you
she really does more than you can understand

When she grabs at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you;
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does

When she says it's over
she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin
she wants you to read it

- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything
- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
-Treat her like she's all that matters to you
- Stay up all night with her when she's sick
- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid
- Give her the world.
- Let her wear your clothes
-When she's bored and sad, hang out with her-Let her know she's important.

- Don't talk about other girls around her
- Kiss her in the pouring rain
- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:

"Whose ass am i kicking baby?"

by: Mary Junelee L. Resabal

A wound. A heart wound.

I'm love-lorn. According to Shawn, that is. But I dont listen to him, cz most of the time, theres a reason we're friends, and tht because we both crap more than make sense. Anyways.. Yes, I'm heartbroken.

In Hindi, to call a loved one by an endearing nickname is to call them Jaantush or Jaan for short. According to my friends, this means love, life, sweetheart and practically everything endearing.

I feel... Like a part of me has been torn out of my body. Forced out, screaming and bloody. Yes, it's that gory. You see, when a part of you is torn out.. You bleed, it hurts, it takes time to heal and the best part is... You feel lighter but.. you feel empty. Hollow. Like you've been burrowed through.

You feel like crap. And yes, thats how i feel right now. That's exactly how. 

The Long Distance Relationship.

This is a tribute to those of you amazing people out there who are in a long distance relationship. My hat's off to you amazing, trusting people. 

I watched this video today. It made me cry. It restored my faith in humanity, it made me believe that anything is possible. That love knows no boundaries. 

This couple, they are just so sweet. I can see that it's not as easy as it seems. That the difference in time zones are not just small things. The way this couple trust each other, that restored my faith in people. I promise myself I will be more tolerating with people after this. 

It's not easy. And I feel that people ought to stop judging these long distanced relationship as "puppy love" and "delusional, desperate relationships". Love isn't something you can control. What i realized that, love can just happen in the blink of an eye or it might even take years to bloom. It isn't the distance that matter, it's the effort you give to work your relationship. 

I feel that people who are in long distanced relationships are more appreciative of their significant other because of the faith and trust you put into the other person. You KNOW that you can trust them despite not being able to be there to witness anything. And people who are in long distanced relationships truly make an effort to stay in touch, some to the length of dining in front of their laptops to have a "candlelight dinner" with their significant others. 

So, here's to long distance relationships and people in them. May you all always be blessed, and strong enough to beat anything and everything. 

PS: I miss my long distanced best friend. :( I hope he returns soon. <3

xx

Happy and Sad?

Happy and sad is an oxymoron(no, it's not a moron). Like bittersweet, no way it exists but you wirte it to describe a feeling.

Wth? Since when I'm like, explaining bout grammar? >.<
>_>

Anyways, What would you do if someone you knew for years suddenly had a drastic personality makeover?
And somehow, you couldnt catch up with all the changes? What would you do? Do tell me, I have no idea of what to be done with this. I musnt dwell in the past, MARCH AHEAD, ALIA!!! -smiles-

-sigh- Let's not dwell on such pessimistic thoughts about things that wont benefit us.

 I've been so happy this past few days. :D :D :D

PMR year now, must focus. But all the teachers are like so funny and very friendly...

SO MUCH HOMEWORK!!!! :O

Ok, got to go, must sleep early in order not to get sick.

I miss blogging here sum how eventhough my Tumblr is kinda nicer. -bites lips-

Eid Mubarak- My version

Now Playing: Billie Jean- Late Michael Jackson

Emoticon:  :/

Favourite word right now:deipnosophist (a skilled person at informal chit chat, why does this sound familiar? Maybe because that’s so me.  LOL)
__________________________________________________________________________________

I could not not blog about my Eid Mubarak, more commonly known as Hari Raya Aidilfitri in my mother tongue and country. The month of celebration. How could I not blog about such a glorious event that I honestly look forward to each year?

We should start with the eve of the 1^st of Syawal (month of celebration, end of the fasting period). Maybe we could also dwell a little on the fasting month, but just a little, I have tons to blog about and I don’t want all of you guys dozing( Zzzzz)halfway through the entry.

Fasting month. It’s the month where 30 days goes by with Muslims fasting from the break of dawn till sunset. We aren’t only excluding meals from our daily routines, we must also say no evil, see no evil and hear no evil. Oh! We musnt also insert anything, anything at all, into our body. Say... like no finger into your nose, no digging ear wax and ermm... other things that involve putting things into your body.... Err... if you get what I’m hinting. Lol. –wink wink-

After 30 days of fasting, the month of celebration rolls by and we, of course, celebrate. On the eve of Eid Mubarak, my family and I as usual, sleep over at my grandparents house. Nothing big. But I’ve always like the sound of Takbir Raya (sorry, no translation available! :P) To me, it’s one of the most peaceful sounds. It’s a... well, not really a chant, but... I JUST CANT DESCRIBE IT, BEATS ME WHAT YOU CALL IT. Lol. Sorry... can’t explain it... you just gotta go through it yourself.

On the morning of Eid Mubarak, we go to the annual Sembahyang Raya or Eid Mubarak prayer. It’s... well awesome, but I don’t particularly like the fact that every time, every single time I go for this prayer... someone will step on my leg during the prayer. HOW IN THE WORLD ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO PRAY TO GOD IF SOMEONE IS STOPING YOUR BLOOD CIRCULATION? XD x]

So, I just stayed around and help prepare the raw cooking materials my aunty will need later, to cook. I sliced the onions (crying as though I lost a diamond, Of Course! What else is to be expected? ) and some weird pickled lime to make dalca. Don’t ask me what in the world is dalca, I don’t eat it myself.

We of course slice open the lemangs (glutinous  rice cooked with coconut milk in a bamboo) and ate it with my mom’s rendang. Oh such taste is incredible. Yum Yum. And because some of my uncles and aunties haven’t arrive, we went to visit other families.

We went to this politician’s open house. The monkey girl at the entrance didn’t give me any duit raya. Duit raya is money given to children and unmarried or youngsters by the elders. Not a must but a tradition. That girl didn’t even glance at me. Gawd... it’s just a coupla notes. Not like she has to give me a million bucks.  Let’s move on.

Then we went to visit my auntie’s friend. From there, we sent my uncle for Friday prayer and went to visit a relative of our relative. That lady has travelled to all of Europe. God, I’m so freaking envious of her. She has even visited Luxembourg. I have always wanted to visit Luxembourg, a beautiful small country. –sighs- She is so awesome... she told me all kind of stories bout the south of France and paella, the famous Spanish delight. Ahh... such tales of her travels should be recorded and compiled into a book.

Then we went home. I ate my auntie’s Briyani rice. Which is rice cooked with Arabic spices. That night, we played fire crackers. Awesome. Annually, we have a sort of match with the neighbouring village. They will fire something loud and we will set off one of our fire crackers. It’s like... trying to say ‘yo, you’re not the only one with big, noisy fire crackers’. Boys and toys, how can you ever restrict them? J

There was this particularly loud firecracker my uncle bought. Ringgit Malaysia 10 (approx USD$3) for each. It went off ‘BOOM’ and then explode into a huge flower of multi, brilliant colours. The neighbouring village must have been deafen by that. Lol.

The second day of Eid kicked off with the last uncle we expected to come, and we all gathered in front of my grandparents’ porch and asking from forgiveness from every uncle, auntie, relatives, cousins. Lots of duit raya this year. Much more than last year. Twice as much as last year.

I will not say how much actually. Just enough to buy myself that new novel I’ve been eyeing, a new pair of earphones(hopefully soundproofed) and save some for some upcoming occasion. Lol. Perhaps I can even squeeze in a guitar capo. I wont be able to afford a guitar tuner though. Maybe that can be my birthday prezzie.

Hey, my birthday is coming, peeps! –thinks- If you guys are ever scratching your head in what to give me (wishful thinking on positivity always help ;]) you guys can always just sent a money transfer. –wink wink- Lol. Keep the dream alive, eh? But I think I will ask for a guitar tuner and capo for my birthday. Now, don’t I wish someone would get me an electric guitar for my birthday? Haha. It’s a private joke. Sorry if you’re not in the loop. Mail me about your Eid Mubarak experience if you want at blurwonderwoman@gmail.com. Hearts and kisses.

All yours smiling like a Cheshire Cat,

Alia.

The End is only the Beginning

Ok, I feel the urge to update u guys with my unfab but drama-filled life... 

Hmm, first of all, I feel like expressing my views on an end thats happening without me being able to stop anything because there's nothing I can do bout it. I hate to admit this but:

I GIVE UP ON SAVING OUR HALF DECADE FRENSHIP

Ok, done! Haha. Let's move on... Where to you may ask... (I'm crapping here but just bear with me!)

Oh rite, my exam marks. I think you guys are more updated bout my marks than anyone elses are:

So far... Some A's, 2 B's and 1 C. C for Maths, of course. 

I know, I know... I wanna blog bout something else too... I realized that the person I never knew last year has end up being the person who kinda understands me. Oh well, anything can happen, I guess. Now that she's my friend, u try anything funny with her, and Imma JUST chop off your brainless head and mix it up and make a blended drink.  

I forgot to add something here. Ladies out there, there are NO! Mr Perfect out there. After this lame arsehole tried to make me fell inferior to him and his ego, I just wanna advise you all to stop deluding, ooops, I mean thinking that there's a Mr Perfect out there. Believe me, Cinderella and Snow White were all stoned when they were interviewed by those storytellers... (It could also be tht the Price Charming(s) stoned them so the truth never comes out! ;))

Now we must say our goodbyes and part from here for this post has come to an end. Ok, people. I larrrve and ah-dore you guys but I gotta ciao. 

Alia

PS: Sorry bout the bimbo-ish ending. Couldnt resist. Keep that smile up and be happy! 

Update!

I'm so sorry for neglecting my blog. I've been trying to... reconcile with my inner self, u cn say... XP
And somehow Twitter got more interesting after Fly.fm played the song request I asked for on Twitter. Yeehaw!
Ok... back to business. This blog... well u cn say tht it has been the place i vent off my anger, pent up frustration and also the place I post all those sickening(i bet you guys are puking rite now JK) lovey dovey stuff.

Nah... I loved what I wrote. Eventho I messed up... -smiles-

So I dont think I wanna erase most of my posts just because it didnt seem rite tht they're still there. Those are not mockery, those are past memories. I'd be willing to go thru pain if I can relive those memories... Oh well, there's nothing I could do but wait for you.

I'd wait and I wait even though it sounds pathetic.

-Smiles-

Alia

Cheer up, ma readers(do I even have any?) 


I love you all! <3

Hurt

Seriously, wat else does that ****h have to do to get to me? Like post something to hurt me in the wee hours just because i'd definitely see it? Yo loser, that's lame!

I was hurt when i read it... but needless to say, I dont want to blame you for it. Even when you do have a fair share of the blame, in my opinion.

But im blogging not to blabber about hurt, for hurt I shall face alone. 


I just need to clarify something. My entire universe and being revolves around you, but that doesnt mean everything is about you! (-_-!!)

Like when I asked the Professor (today) that question... It wasnt supposed to have anything to do with you.
I asked because I needed to know.

So that's all. Yeah. Take care, my dear readers.

Love you,
Alia

How much I miss blogging.

Yes. I havent blogged for some time. If you dont count yesterday's post. Hehe. Yesterday's post raised some good questions. :) That's... fine. I guess. People. If you baca (read) my blog (rarely anyone does. XD) then you boleh la (can) comment as you like. But if you dont like what I post, then dont read. Simple. Kay?

I'm posting because I'm pissed. But to be honest, it's not good to blog when you're pissed. U post stoooooooopppiiiid stuf.... then people read. Lol. Like i care. But I care bcause it will not do good. Much. Lol.

I had an awesome morning. I was woken up on time by a lovely bird chirping. Means I received a text. Makes me happy to wake up in such a way.

Please. Feel free to wake me up at any hour of the day. For you, it's fine. For anyone else, they're gonna have their head bitten off. Simple.

I like this micro blogging thingy but Twitter's words limit kill's my creative juices. So. Yeah. :)

It's holidays. I'm bored. So I'll keep posting and spamming my own blog (lame, I noe) with the minutest details. Love you all.

Hearts,
Aria

My best friend's Maid of Honour speech...

Nik’s Maid of Honor Speech to AliaGood evening everyone, I am Nik Shahira. I am Alia’s maid of honour and today, well you know. The speech crap.Alia, Alia, Alia…. You….You amazing thrill ride! You’ve grown up so much, sweetheart. I’m so proud of you! But I’m so FURIOUS!!! How on Earth, I ask myself a THOUSAND times, could that douche bag next to you -No offense, dude- take you away from us- NO, ME!? HOW!? God, I even wished I could stab your hubby there ever since he magically swept you off your feet …but you know what? Whatever! You’re happy and that makes me wanna burst in joy every second! I couldn’t be happy for you more than I could now, baby.But GAH, ALIA!- EFFING Finally! Remember the times we sat through Deanna’s wedding with NJ, filled with the hope that someday, it would be one of us up there with a sexy guy? Gone are the lonely nights we talked until the early hours, crying over the fear that it might never be one of us up there. And now…Say goodbye to bad blind dates arranged by Carmen and relentless pestering from Joyce who was always trying to fix you up with the wrong guy. Say goodbye to scanning all those sad profiles on the Internet dating sites I gave you during my Milo withdrawal insomniac nights, looking for someone to peak your interest. And I gotta tell you, Alia, you are one helluva fish to catch. Josh over there, certainly hit the mother of all jackpots! But ah! How happy are you that you will never again have to fight with the other single girls to catch the bouquet? TEE HEE, I’M HINTING MYSELF HERE! Can you believe that you actually get to be the one tossing the bouquet this time?Well, I sure can. I always could. I knew during those awkward and naughtyintroductions at happy hour, when one of our friends invited a single hot guy and didn’t tell you. I knew when you were secretly picking out your own sexy wedding gown of your liking on all those shopping trips for the other bubbly girls who were engaged. I confess I got a little worried when you started dating Mr. Wrong. What was his name? The guy we called “OH GOD, HE’S A CHICK.” I knew there were better things in store for you. And, thankfully, you did too. HELL YEAH, YOU DID BABE!And then there was Josh. The guy we called “the hot dude we like.” I remember when you first told me he could be “the one.” I could just picture it. Joshdown on one knee, asking you to make him the happiest man in the world while you lift up your right leg and squeals, offering you that beautiful diamond ring, you in that gorgeous gown, me making this speech.It may have been many years in the making, but (groom) was certainly worth waiting for. It is so great to finally see you so happy! NOW GO HAVE SEX LADY!