how are you, nur alia?

Fine, thank you. And you?

the million dollar question is...

Happy and Sad?

Happy and sad is an oxymoron(no, it's not a moron). Like bittersweet, no way it exists but you wirte it to describe a feeling.

Wth? Since when I'm like, explaining bout grammar? >.<
>_>

Anyways, What would you do if someone you knew for years suddenly had a drastic personality makeover?
And somehow, you couldnt catch up with all the changes? What would you do? Do tell me, I have no idea of what to be done with this. I musnt dwell in the past, MARCH AHEAD, ALIA!!! -smiles-

-sigh- Let's not dwell on such pessimistic thoughts about things that wont benefit us.

 I've been so happy this past few days. :D :D :D

PMR year now, must focus. But all the teachers are like so funny and very friendly...

SO MUCH HOMEWORK!!!! :O

Ok, got to go, must sleep early in order not to get sick.

I miss blogging here sum how eventhough my Tumblr is kinda nicer. -bites lips-

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/ariakamaria

Battle of the bands Finale

Woots. Best night of the year. We were all like, so hyped up.

So yeah... wish I had pics. Mom took the camera with her so no pics. :(

And it was truly a great night, met old friends. Seriously, they should have this kinda things often. That would be soooooo cool. :)  

You know you love me. ;)

Watch out when guys sing this song, ladies

I would melt if some guy I like sings this for me. ;)

You know you love me. 

Missing my blog. And you guys. :)

So, yea... I tried Tumblr. And my Tumblr link is:
http://alialovesyou.tumblr.com/

Yea. Havent done much, I've been kinda busy. But yeah, I miss Blogger. The freedom to just keep writing and those long post wont bug anyone's dashboard. And anyways, I'm kinda the person who has a lot pent up, always eager to share my fair share of stories. Sounds like that can go both ways.

Let me see. My life was, is, and will remain messy but it's okay. That's what life's about I guess.

Ok. So I went to the Battle of the Bands/Dance Competition auditions. It was great... wait more than great... It Was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! -screams- Oh wait, I can barely scream anymore... too much screaming yesterday.

There was awesome dance moves, great, loud, headache-begging music. So what if I was sick during the auditions? I'm glad I went(and thanks Hee, for making me go, I'll remember it for as long as I can remember things). Worth the time, pain, nagging, and of course the money.

 Met an old friend. Observed some amusing things. Funny. Amusing. Hilarious. Ok, done. XD

I would like to say, wait, , make that yell, CONGRATS! to the finalists. Hope you guys show us more awesome moves and strokes of genius.

I really hope I can go to the Finals. I wish I have transport to go but right now, things don't look so good. A girl can only wish. 

You know you love me.

Songs of the Moment

This song was introduced to me by a person who means very much to me. :) -embarrassed- 



And all of my readers, you mean as much to me as sang in that song.

This is another song, also very nice. It's called To Love You More by Celine Dion:



Oh yes, guys. I know, I like the violinist too. He's so awesome to me. :)
Hope you guys like my choice of songs this time. <3

Alia

Eid Mubarak- My version

Now Playing: Billie Jean- Late Michael Jackson

Emoticon:  :/

Favourite word right now:deipnosophist (a skilled person at informal chit chat, why does this sound familiar? Maybe because that’s so me.  LOL)
__________________________________________________________________________________

I could not not blog about my Eid Mubarak, more commonly known as Hari Raya Aidilfitri in my mother tongue and country. The month of celebration. How could I not blog about such a glorious event that I honestly look forward to each year?

We should start with the eve of the 1^st of Syawal (month of celebration, end of the fasting period). Maybe we could also dwell a little on the fasting month, but just a little, I have tons to blog about and I don’t want all of you guys dozing( Zzzzz)halfway through the entry.

Fasting month. It’s the month where 30 days goes by with Muslims fasting from the break of dawn till sunset. We aren’t only excluding meals from our daily routines, we must also say no evil, see no evil and hear no evil. Oh! We musnt also insert anything, anything at all, into our body. Say... like no finger into your nose, no digging ear wax and ermm... other things that involve putting things into your body.... Err... if you get what I’m hinting. Lol. –wink wink-

After 30 days of fasting, the month of celebration rolls by and we, of course, celebrate. On the eve of Eid Mubarak, my family and I as usual, sleep over at my grandparents house. Nothing big. But I’ve always like the sound of Takbir Raya (sorry, no translation available! :P) To me, it’s one of the most peaceful sounds. It’s a... well, not really a chant, but... I JUST CANT DESCRIBE IT, BEATS ME WHAT YOU CALL IT. Lol. Sorry... can’t explain it... you just gotta go through it yourself.

On the morning of Eid Mubarak, we go to the annual Sembahyang Raya or Eid Mubarak prayer. It’s... well awesome, but I don’t particularly like the fact that every time, every single time I go for this prayer... someone will step on my leg during the prayer. HOW IN THE WORLD ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO PRAY TO GOD IF SOMEONE IS STOPING YOUR BLOOD CIRCULATION? XD x]

So, I just stayed around and help prepare the raw cooking materials my aunty will need later, to cook. I sliced the onions (crying as though I lost a diamond, Of Course! What else is to be expected? ) and some weird pickled lime to make dalca. Don’t ask me what in the world is dalca, I don’t eat it myself.

We of course slice open the lemangs (glutinous  rice cooked with coconut milk in a bamboo) and ate it with my mom’s rendang. Oh such taste is incredible. Yum Yum. And because some of my uncles and aunties haven’t arrive, we went to visit other families.

We went to this politician’s open house. The monkey girl at the entrance didn’t give me any duit raya. Duit raya is money given to children and unmarried or youngsters by the elders. Not a must but a tradition. That girl didn’t even glance at me. Gawd... it’s just a coupla notes. Not like she has to give me a million bucks.  Let’s move on.

Then we went to visit my auntie’s friend. From there, we sent my uncle for Friday prayer and went to visit a relative of our relative. That lady has travelled to all of Europe. God, I’m so freaking envious of her. She has even visited Luxembourg. I have always wanted to visit Luxembourg, a beautiful small country. –sighs- She is so awesome... she told me all kind of stories bout the south of France and paella, the famous Spanish delight. Ahh... such tales of her travels should be recorded and compiled into a book.

Then we went home. I ate my auntie’s Briyani rice. Which is rice cooked with Arabic spices. That night, we played fire crackers. Awesome. Annually, we have a sort of match with the neighbouring village. They will fire something loud and we will set off one of our fire crackers. It’s like... trying to say ‘yo, you’re not the only one with big, noisy fire crackers’. Boys and toys, how can you ever restrict them? J

There was this particularly loud firecracker my uncle bought. Ringgit Malaysia 10 (approx USD$3) for each. It went off ‘BOOM’ and then explode into a huge flower of multi, brilliant colours. The neighbouring village must have been deafen by that. Lol.

The second day of Eid kicked off with the last uncle we expected to come, and we all gathered in front of my grandparents’ porch and asking from forgiveness from every uncle, auntie, relatives, cousins. Lots of duit raya this year. Much more than last year. Twice as much as last year.

I will not say how much actually. Just enough to buy myself that new novel I’ve been eyeing, a new pair of earphones(hopefully soundproofed) and save some for some upcoming occasion. Lol. Perhaps I can even squeeze in a guitar capo. I wont be able to afford a guitar tuner though. Maybe that can be my birthday prezzie.

Hey, my birthday is coming, peeps! –thinks- If you guys are ever scratching your head in what to give me (wishful thinking on positivity always help ;]) you guys can always just sent a money transfer. –wink wink- Lol. Keep the dream alive, eh? But I think I will ask for a guitar tuner and capo for my birthday. Now, don’t I wish someone would get me an electric guitar for my birthday? Haha. It’s a private joke. Sorry if you’re not in the loop. Mail me about your Eid Mubarak experience if you want at blurwonderwoman@gmail.com. Hearts and kisses.

All yours smiling like a Cheshire Cat,

Alia.

Happy Eid Mubarak

I'm not gonna come online for a long time I guess. Maybe a week or so. So see yah. Celebrate well and dont get hurt. Take care.

Love,
Alia

Songs of the moment

Scars - Papa Roach (with Lyrics) - For more amazing video clips, click here

Shut the Mixpod first. Then play these videos. If not your speaker will hate you. XD

Alia

Unspoken

I'm sorry I had to post this. I know I'd never have the guts to say this to you face to face.
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Whom it may concern.

From: The person who loved you.

Re: Till we meet again.

You said you trusted me because I’d never lie to you. But now, it seems so long ago and all we said and all we shared seem to cross the boundary of thin truth into the territory of white lies.

You knew I loved you, yet you could still do this to me. But why? Where was I mistaken? Was it when I lost my temper...when my anger flared in response to what your anger should have been?

I know that if you were to read this, you wouldn’t understand, you won’t ever understand why I did it in the first place, but believe me, it was unstoppable. It was bound to happen.

You taught me that if I had something to say, I should just say it, instead of keeping it to myself. But how would it ever be possible to me to ever tell you how much I cared? How much I wanted it to last forever and that there would never be an end?

Now... all that’s left are the past memories. That is if you bothered to cherish them. Something tells me inside, I’m the only one between us doing it, because probably, I’m the only one who cared to do it. I don’t know if all this is true but it seems that way, with me and you.

You taught me the value of truth, trust and love. You showed me that sometimes... it doesn’t matter if you love someone...you just got to let it go and see how it goes. You taught me that even if your feelings towards that person aren’t mutual, the love is still irrevocable love.

Over the time, I learned but I doubted. There were times; your actions seem to convince me that you cared, no matter how little. Someone told me over and over again that anyone could and would have done the same, but coming from you, those tiny actions were huge holes on the cloak you wore around me, almost making me believe that you cared though you acted otherwise.

I was there for you when you needed me and I thought you did the same for me. You were always the wiser one, the one to tell me that everything I’m going through right now, is all normal. You were there when my life was messed up and I needed someone, not any someone, when I need you of all people to tell me that everything will be fine.

Now? I don’t have that someone anymore. I don’t have you, to lean on when I needed to. To pour my heart out knowing you’d never judge me the way others did. True enough, I had others. Others I could lean on, others I could cry my heart out to, but no one could be a replacement of you.

In this world, there aren’t many whose life I could just jump into like I did with yours and yet not be pushed away like so many did to me. No one have accepted me and not judged me like you did. No one was that tolerant of my annoying behaviour.

 I don’t know for sure whether at any point, you have hated me but I’d like to think that there were times you wished I wasn’t around but you could still bear with me, because that’s just who you are.

I’d just like to state whatever I love in you and not state things about you that I loved all the same but I would rather have them changed. Because when you love someone, you love all the positive things about that person and all the negative things too.

I had loved and I had hurt because of you. But I try my very best to put it all behind. Why remember the awful parts when you can just immortalise the good things in your memories?

Even now, whenever I notice you avoiding me or hiding away from me when you see me, I’d rather pretend not noticing it all because I take it that whatever you’re doing is for the best and all you’re doing has a good reason. Like you said and projected through your offending actions, it’s for the best.

I wish I know what to do right now, but believe me, I do try my best. Try my best to conceal and mask the pain even when there are those sharp people who see through my pain. I cannot bid a goodbye for I’d always wish for a reunion and forgiveness.

So, I guess, I’d just say... “Till we meet again”.

                                                                                                         Forever in debt and loving you,

                                                                                                              The person who loves you.

P.S: I know I never actually sent this to you, but if you happen to read it, please just spare a second in 86400 seconds on the day you read this, to think of me, how I felt and how much you actually care. Thank you.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Before I sign off, I'd like to say: "Estas en mi corazón". 

It means: You are my heart. 

Alia

I'm sorry

I'm sorry. 

I'm sorry I'm such a fruit cake.

 I'm sorry that I'm not perfect. 

I'm sorry that I'm not as good as she is.

 I'm sorry I'm not as pretty as she is. 

I'm sorry I'm not a better person. 

I'm sorry I screwed up. 

I'm sorry that I cry so easily. 

I'm sorry I dont know which one of you I'm apologizing to. 

I'm sorry I cant comfort you like she can.

 I'm sorry for everything I have done and everything I had to do because I thought it would be best for you.

 I'm truly, truly sorry.

 But this is me. And I can try and try and try but some things, I cant just change. 

Tell me the words to say. Tell me the things to do. For I don't know. I truly dont. But I wish I do.

I dont want to push you so hard. I'd rather push myself. 

That's because I care. I totally do. 

Formation? more like torture... >_>

So yea... St George's Girls School is 125 years old... Yipeee!
The best part was that we had to take a picture of all of us forming the words 125 SGGS
Hmm.... and my friends were endlessly talking... but I couldnt understand a word of it of course...
Them talking in their mother tongue... >___>

The formation thing was tiring and is a HUGE NONO on fasting days....
The sun was not too bad... though a little uncomfortable and moving forward and backward to get the best formation shape was kinda... tiring...

Hmm, sadly... I dont think I'll be online for a few days... Esp on the public holiday Nuzul al-Quran.
I realized that I havent been blogging bout the fasting month... the thing is... fasting is not hard...
Not eating during the day is not that hard but not swearing is hard I tell you...
Esp when you have just a nasty day and the Ffff is just rolling on the tip of your tongue... LOL

Ok... gtg...

In case I didnt come online after this... I just wanna say a BIG happy birthday to -clears throat- someone... Happy Bday, and dont worry If i dont come online... I'll still give you ONE of your bday present... I insist. XD Just dont... get angry kay? C:

C: <3333333,
Alia

PS: Bryan is suppppaaaaaa-dupppaaaaa awesome (he didnt actually put a gun on my head to say that... I just did! Something's wrong with me... XD JK)

Judgemental!

Ok, i admit... it was my fault. Wanna noe wat i did?

I forgot to pack extra clothes when we went home to my other house.
Then we wanted to go to the mall, and I didnt have anything nice to wear... more like anything that wont make me look like a social pariah. So anyways...

I put on these bermuda pants (I LOVE em ;) ) and this over sized shirt. Believe me, no one looks stupider than me. Not even Cinderella would look flattering in them. ZZZZZ

And we went to a restaurant, to break fast(not breakfast... its to break the fasting period) =.= ... and the waiter didnt really even want to look at us, he was judging us just coz I wore clothes like tht...

Omigod! IKR? Then, as we were eating, I pranked the waiter... XD Funneyh!

Lesson learned:

1. DONT JUDGE MEH!
2. dont EVER wear clothes like I mentioned. =.=

LOL. <3333

Alia

Crap!

Bryan keeps bugging me bout devoting a post or a blog just devoted to him! OMG, IKR... he's deluded!
So yea... Bryan... YOU'RE AWESOME. Now STOP BUGGING ME! 

LOL. Im just kidding, Bryan.

Ok, done with that... Anyways, I was hoping that two certain people would read what I'm about to blog.

"Isn't what I've done for you enough? Enough for you to acknowledge the fact that I'm

1. A human being with a heart
2. Not invisible and I'm also solid.
3. Not a dumb blonde

You treat me or more like ignore my existence as though I'm a wooden doll... What the crap? What we shared last time might not be something you want to remember or treasure. All those smiles and laughter. All the fun. But still, we had our time, our chance and for that we have to be thankful and even if it didnt work out, or it will NEVER work out... The least you could do was to be kind to me when I make an effort to do so with you.

Please. This is all I ask for. And all that I can ask for.

Alia

Unexpected Outing! Oh yay!

My dad drove us to pick ma mummy dearest up. Then we went to eat... just at a roadside stall. Nothing to blog on gastronomical interest there. Hehe.

We dumped , sorry I mean drove my sister to tuition. Then afta we left her, I was supposed to go to piano class but I fell asleep (I actually slumped my head tht's all)  then when I woke up, we're in the basement of QB mall parking space.

Hmm, we went shopping. It was sooo freezin cold. Between us, I'll have to admit tht I dont do good with the cold indoors. Then I saw tht they were selling so many imported stuff for half price. Bcoz it's near the expiry date! But who cares right? They wont live past the expiry date with me and my voracious tummy. Hehehe.

I saw cans and cans on Dr Pepper. Then I realized (take note Mr Cocky and Smug! No offense with the name, bro! And yes, your super uber awesome! XD) I never tasted Dr Pepper before. Hmmm... Or seen the cans before. I wonder how they taste like... (lame rite? XD )


Epic Fail!


We shopped till we drop and to keep the story short, we also stuffed our tummies with goodies. My mum wanted to eat cake so we went to Secret Recipe and I was blinded by the choice of cakes there. I love cakes. So we ordered. 


Gastronomical interest note here: Order the Strawberry Marsh mellow Cheese Cake. Heavenly divine piece of cake it is. Owh so delectable. Beats and trumps my mom's cake of choice. Oh yeh!


As we were dining, my dad told me he saw the world tallest guy. Imagine... in Queensbay Mall! No kid rite?
He's damn tall man... Poor guy, he must have stoop a lot of times in low ceiling places.

Gtg. Mom's nagging. Oh yea, to my Muslim cousins, Happy Ramadhan. <3

Alia

The End is only the Beginning

Ok, I feel the urge to update u guys with my unfab but drama-filled life... 

Hmm, first of all, I feel like expressing my views on an end thats happening without me being able to stop anything because there's nothing I can do bout it. I hate to admit this but:

I GIVE UP ON SAVING OUR HALF DECADE FRENSHIP

Ok, done! Haha. Let's move on... Where to you may ask... (I'm crapping here but just bear with me!)

Oh rite, my exam marks. I think you guys are more updated bout my marks than anyone elses are:

So far... Some A's, 2 B's and 1 C. C for Maths, of course. 

I know, I know... I wanna blog bout something else too... I realized that the person I never knew last year has end up being the person who kinda understands me. Oh well, anything can happen, I guess. Now that she's my friend, u try anything funny with her, and Imma JUST chop off your brainless head and mix it up and make a blended drink.  

I forgot to add something here. Ladies out there, there are NO! Mr Perfect out there. After this lame arsehole tried to make me fell inferior to him and his ego, I just wanna advise you all to stop deluding, ooops, I mean thinking that there's a Mr Perfect out there. Believe me, Cinderella and Snow White were all stoned when they were interviewed by those storytellers... (It could also be tht the Price Charming(s) stoned them so the truth never comes out! ;))

Now we must say our goodbyes and part from here for this post has come to an end. Ok, people. I larrrve and ah-dore you guys but I gotta ciao. 

Alia

PS: Sorry bout the bimbo-ish ending. Couldnt resist. Keep that smile up and be happy! 

Update!

I'm so sorry for neglecting my blog. I've been trying to... reconcile with my inner self, u cn say... XP
And somehow Twitter got more interesting after Fly.fm played the song request I asked for on Twitter. Yeehaw!
Ok... back to business. This blog... well u cn say tht it has been the place i vent off my anger, pent up frustration and also the place I post all those sickening(i bet you guys are puking rite now JK) lovey dovey stuff.

Nah... I loved what I wrote. Eventho I messed up... -smiles-

So I dont think I wanna erase most of my posts just because it didnt seem rite tht they're still there. Those are not mockery, those are past memories. I'd be willing to go thru pain if I can relive those memories... Oh well, there's nothing I could do but wait for you.

I'd wait and I wait even though it sounds pathetic.

-Smiles-

Alia

Cheer up, ma readers(do I even have any?) 


I love you all! <3

Leave and let go? Yea rite!

I'm not going to pretend I know how you feel. For I don't think I do. But believe me, I'm trying. Trying so very hard to please you. Yet, my attempts are fruitless and not appreciated.

I'd do almost anything to see you smile again... But you're swatting me away.

Take it easy. But dont take anything. Anything. And that includes me. For granted.

I'm human too. I have feelings like you do. I hurt just like you. And I take time to heal all the same. So why are you treating me like a punch bag you can let ALL of your anger, your pent up emotions on me?

Just... be wary... U'll hurt a lot of people who loves you... If you go on like this.

Alia

Hurt

Seriously, wat else does that ****h have to do to get to me? Like post something to hurt me in the wee hours just because i'd definitely see it? Yo loser, that's lame!

I was hurt when i read it... but needless to say, I dont want to blame you for it. Even when you do have a fair share of the blame, in my opinion.

But im blogging not to blabber about hurt, for hurt I shall face alone. 


I just need to clarify something. My entire universe and being revolves around you, but that doesnt mean everything is about you! (-_-!!)

Like when I asked the Professor (today) that question... It wasnt supposed to have anything to do with you.
I asked because I needed to know.

So that's all. Yeah. Take care, my dear readers.

Love you,
Alia

The Way

I love the way you hold my guitar,
And how you not just make it look like a cheap piece of instrument,
But how you transform it,
Into a real beauty.

All this time I held my guitar,
I nvr held it the way you did.
To say I've been able to manipulate the instrument the way you did... is a sin.

Girl, dont be nervous,
Dont be worried,
Unlike me,
You are always prepared, always cool...

Tomorrow may be a good thing,
Or a bad one,
It all depends on how you handle it,
And believe me,

You'd be fine...

I know you'd be. If anything goes wrong, you'd know where to find me...
Next to you, ready to catch you, if you slip or fall...

Alia

Goodbyes- A poem- For you, for us, for what we are now...

Time passes by,

With no words of reply,

I guess we've said our goodbyes,

Without remembering our whys,

Time has washed away the blues,

Leaving us with no clues,

Flying we are pointlessly,

As we ponder aimlessly,

Music playing wondrously,

Not with us smiling with glee,

Gone are the times we smile,

When we see each other no more than a mile,

Standing we are here,

Not to shed a tear,

Losing each other we are aware of,

Yet at each other we scoff,

Silently we regret and wish,

To stop the hatred we've unleashed,

But agony leaves us no cure,

For the friendship is no more pure,

We are now two different entities,

Too much of a quantity,

We want all this to end,

But on the other we depend,

This will get us nowhere,

That's why we should have been aware,

Of the potent of our anger,

Now all that's left to do is linger,

To hope the other's ego is not larger,

To apologize without the face of a gravedigger,

We ask ourselves for a reason,

Why we made ego the poison,

To each other we have offend,

Let us hope this isn't the end.

This might help me express what I cant put as words. Please. Thanks. I'm sorry. I screwed up. But I want to make it how it used to be. Or maybe, make it better. :)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VascyLfpNrI&feature=related (Video for it) 


Sorry-Buckcherry.
Oh I had a lot to say, was thinking on my time away
I missed you and things weren't the same
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry, it makes me want to die

I'm sorry, I'm bad, I'm sorry, I'm blue
I'm sorry about all things I said to you
And I know, I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby, the way you make my world go round
And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry

This time I think, I'm to blame
It's harder to get through the days
You get older and blame turns to shame
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry, it makes me want to die

I'm sorry, I'm bad, I'm sorry, I'm blue
I'm sorry about all things I said to you
And I know, I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby, the way you make my world go round
And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry

Every single day, I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried
It's never too late to make it right
Oh yeah, sorry

I'm sorry, I'm bad, I'm sorry, I'm blue
I'm sorry about all things I said to you
And I know, I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby, the way you make my world go round
And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry

I'm sorry, baby
I'm sorry, baby
I'm sorry

How much I miss blogging.

Yes. I havent blogged for some time. If you dont count yesterday's post. Hehe. Yesterday's post raised some good questions. :) That's... fine. I guess. People. If you baca (read) my blog (rarely anyone does. XD) then you boleh la (can) comment as you like. But if you dont like what I post, then dont read. Simple. Kay?

I'm posting because I'm pissed. But to be honest, it's not good to blog when you're pissed. U post stoooooooopppiiiid stuf.... then people read. Lol. Like i care. But I care bcause it will not do good. Much. Lol.

I had an awesome morning. I was woken up on time by a lovely bird chirping. Means I received a text. Makes me happy to wake up in such a way.

Please. Feel free to wake me up at any hour of the day. For you, it's fine. For anyone else, they're gonna have their head bitten off. Simple.

I like this micro blogging thingy but Twitter's words limit kill's my creative juices. So. Yeah. :)

It's holidays. I'm bored. So I'll keep posting and spamming my own blog (lame, I noe) with the minutest details. Love you all.

Hearts,
Aria

Smile

Smile

I was just lying on my bed, trying to figure out the song I’d play next ... The song playing in my ancient music player was ‘She Will Be Loved’ by Maroon 5. The song came to the part where ‘...with a broken smile...’ I stood up, just realizing how stupid I am.

                It hit me suddenly that you often smile a ‘broken’ smile. Your smile is sweet but you smile bitterly.  It’s not hard to read distress and hurt on your face but there are times I wish I needn’t figure out the reason for your frowns.

                Your smile. That’s the secret to brightening my day. I recall telling you that ‘Your smile determines the brightness of the sky I walk beneath’. When I finished saying that sheepishly, you laughed at me.

                As my mind plays a slideshow on the various looks of yours I have seen in the whole time I’ve known you, I realized that you smile differently for different reasons. You smile crooked when you’re pleased with something. You smile sheepishly when you’re embarrassed. You smile sweetly when you’re in love.

                But what hurts me the most is the way you smile when you’re keeping the pain to yourself. You’d smile bitterly. You’d have this wary, weary and uninterested expression when you’re thinking of something else but you’re trying your best to be polite and listen to the conversation.

                The truth is you are a special person in my life. And I try my hardest to notice everything about you. There are times I just feel like shouting ‘what are you thinking of?’ when I see you drifting away in your own world far away.

                I love you very much. I love everything about you, not only your smile. But when you smile, you make me smile. J -smiles-

Yours,

Alia

PS: Shall listen to ‘Smile-Uncle Kraker’ soon.

                

Tired...Oh so Tired!

I'm so tired. I'm like so sleep deprived by now that I think I left myself in my house with my body left on the sofa with the eyes bloodshot. Jeez, I'm kidding. 

I'm tired of course. I slept with my eyes open in tuition yesterday... Yes, sleeping wif ur eyes open is POSSIBLE!

Lol, sleep is like a luxury. I can't get my hands on that luxury. GTG... 

Love,

Alia

Thank You!

Thank you! You were always there for me when I needed you and despite what I did to you.
Thank you for trying your hardest in things that seemed petty like answering my questions
Thank you for existing. Your existence made the world a much more colorful place.
Thank you for being the first to actually acknowledge the fact that I'm not invisible nor am I invincible.
Thank you for pestering me to tell you things I dont want to coz that's how I loosen up my tension
Most of all, thank you to God for creating you and meeting me with you!
I love you and you know it!

Even though it seems like you're avoiding me, I know the reasons and I understand! :) ;) :D

Happy New Year

I know I dont use my blog to 'blog', Ok.... I use it to 'blog' but not about my life. I blog bout stories and poems....  :) Anyway, I just wanna wish everyone a happy new year. Every year, we dont grow older, we grow more knowledgeable and experienced. I hope 2010 will be an awesome year for me and you guys. Have fun and never let golden (or silver or bronze!) opportunities pass. Grab them and make a run for the line so no one can take them away from their righful owner, yes you!

Waiting for you

I have been waiting for you,
For so long,
I've been patient,
I'm still patient but,
I'm wondering when you will appear in front of my eyes,
Rather magically,
I want to see you,
I want to talk to you,
I want to see your smile once again,
Like the shining sun,
Your smile makes me happier than anything can,
That's why I'm willing,
To wait for you,
And here I shall be,
Waiting for you...  :)


To the owner of the picture, I hope you dont mind me using you pic! It's very nice....

New Story - Through loving, we are loved.

Through loving, we are loved.

I looked into those admiring dark eyes. The colour of the darkest pearl never failed to mesmerise and enchant me. They made me wonder whether the rest of the universe could ever be more beautiful than her eyes each time I look into them.

I reached for a strand of her beautiful black hair which had came out of her messy ponytail. Tucking her hair behind her ears made me feel very happy for some unknown reason. It made me very content and excited.

I sighed. Why must she be everything that is right for me and yet, she’s all wrong for me at the same time? Is loving her a test? How do I pass this test? By loving her with more love than the world could ever hold or loving her in secret for the fear of hurting her with my feelings?

She smiled at me. The setting sun shines its last rays in the park we were in. Is it the same for me? Should I stop loving her like the setting sun and let some guy make her happy? I know that, like the setting sun, I’ll love her again after that. Just like a rising sun again. I sighed.

Looking into her beautiful heart shape face, I know I’ve found everything there is to be found in my life. Her face holds more beauty than anything the world can offer me. I am in love with her and nothing else matters but that truth.

I don’t know if she feels the same way for me. I can not make her love me. Love is free will. She’s free to love anyone. I’m not going to make her choose me just because she doesn’t want me hurt.

I don’t want her to feel like she’s being a hypocrite by lying to me. I’d rather be in pain than letting her be in pain. Any pain inflicted upon her will kill me. My hand which she held in hers twitched. My hand wanted to take hers and press them to the place where my heart beats.

I want to let her hands rest there and tell her that my heart is all her for the taking. But I can’t. I can never do that because that will be selfish. We have been sitting on this bench, not moving for almost an hour.

The sun has set and it’s twilight. I knew instinctively, that this is the time to tell her. I looked into her eyes again, and I was tongue-tied. How can I ever tell her I love her when each time I look into her eyes, I’m speechless at the beauty of them?

I shook my head and whispered into her ears for fear of being tongue-tied should I look into her eyes. I whispered so softly that I could barely hear it, “I love you”. She shook her head and giggled.

I felt a pang in my chest. She’s laughing at me. She looked into my tortured expression and said, “I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing because it took you the whole day just to whisper those three words”.

They both of us laughed harmoniously together. She tugged my chin asking me to look into her eyes again. I stopped laughing and I looked into her eyes, trying to make my thoughts coherent. “I love you too but it’s not enough to make us more than friends”, she whispered.

I waited for the pain that ought to be searing through me but no pain came. I realised that her words made me feel happy. Not as jubilant as I would have been should she told me she loved me as much as I love her, but content enough not to feel the pain.

I know she will never love me enough to change the fact that we will only remain as friends but I think that’s enough for me. Being friends with her will be enough for me for the rest of eternity. I know that.

The Wait- a new story....

And the years flew like butterflies in an open meadow. Patricia sat there on her antique rocking chair, still waiting and hoping. Her rocking chair faced the front of the lawn. She ordered the rocking chair to be placed there with hopes that she would be able to see him in his full uniform when he comes back from the war.

The word ‘war’ made her wept dried tears that she wept years ago. She couldn’t afford to weep another tear for the war that had taken David from her in what seemed like eons ago. She remembered with perfect recall how handsome David looked in his uniform. He was so eager to fight for his country.

She wasn’t so eager. She knew how dangerous war zones can be. She wished to bottom of her heart that David didn’t have to leave her and she would still see him despite the raging war. Who cares about some stupid war? No matter what she said or how she pleaded, he still had to go.

She prayed that her endless love- which could bring the world to its knees- was enough to keep Dave safe and sound. Every second of the day, her heavy heart wondered where he was and how is he holding. And she spent every second of the day praying that love was enough to keep him safe.

She sat there on the rocking chair, motionless and oblivious to the world. Once in a while, she would whip her head to look at the antique but charming grand piano behind her. She could her faint music from it that came from her memories of Dave playing. The heavenly music never left.

Everyday, the music would start swimming in the room as soon as she sat on her rocking chair. She would turn to find that the room was empty with nothing but her, the rocking chair and the grand piano. She knew that Dave was playing, far away, to assure her that everything was fine and he was well.

She would reminisce how his huge fingers would move smoothly to create a music that was out of this world. The music she heard when he was playing can only be heard in the Heaven. He would play and at the end of each song he would reach out for her hand and kiss her.

His kisses were sweet, sweeter than honey. Then he would caress her hair and murmur words to tell her how much he loved her. She sighed. The memories never failed to flood back like a gushing stream every time she sees a thing that had something to do with Dave. What wouldn’t she give to have his hands around her now?

She looked to find that the clouds are orange now. How fast time flies when she thought of him. She reminded of their first kiss. They kissed in a meadow and the sun was setting and the bird-who were returning home- chirped as tough they loved to see them together.

Something made her rubbed her eyes hard with the back of her hands and shook her head. Perhaps the medications that her physician gave had a side effect of hallucination. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She was seeing Dave returning for the war. He was wearing the very same uniformed he left with.

He was carrying nothing but a charming smile that left her breathless for the first time in so many years and a beautiful yellow rose. Yellow roses meant love everlasting. He had some weird light that trailed behind him. His face was glowing and radiant. He walked slowly and Patricia wanted to run but something pulled her back.

He stood there in front of her and asked in his deep voice, “Are you willing to give everything up just to be with me, Patty”. She looked into his violent blue eyes and found all the answers to her questions. “Anything and everything”, she whispered. “Then come with me, my love”, he tugged her.

The weight that pulled her down just now felt effortless. There was nothing holding her now with the exception of Dave’s warm hand. She took a step forward and felt different. She felt as though she shouldn’t be walking, she should be flying. “Is anything wrong, love?” Dave asked with his eyebrows up.

“Nothing when I’m with my soul mate and the person who owns my heart and soul” she answered. He smiled and left her breathless again. With the smile, she let go of all her fears and doubts. In fact, she let go of everything but him. Then she found herself and walked with Dave to a place not even I know of.

As she walked towards the skies, she looked back to find her aged and wrinkled body lifeless on the rocking chair she spent so long on. Her body was old and wrinkled but her soul was young and the both of them looked exactly how they looked like in their twenties. It was worth the wait, she told herself as she walked hand in hand with Dave.

The young maid who was assigned to take care of the aged Mrs. Young went to find the old lady for her dinner. She found her mistress sitting on the rocking chair as usual. The only different thing was that the chair wasn’t rocking in its usual rhythm. She touched Patricia’s hand and found it was warmer than usual.

She shook the old lady gently, hoping to wake her from her nap. But then she found out that Patricia will never wake up again. She wanted to weep her heart out for the kind old lady had left the world but something told her that Patricia was with Dave and she is very contend to be there with her soul mate.

She called the butler and together they arranged for a cremation as they were ordered by the late Mrs. Patricia Young, wife of Lieutenant Young who died in war. Then they sent her urn to the skies with a small firework. When the firework exploded, her ashes were scattered in the skies with the stars. Somehow, the stars were brighter that night than they have ever seen.

Don't laugh....It's a.........Shaving Manual....A joke....

A SHAVING MANUAL FOR DUMMIES

Several common questions asked and answers to them.

Q: Why do I need to read this manual?
A: This manual was written to help YOU to shave.

Q: Why do I need it to learn to shave? I can do it myself.
A: Sure you can do it yourself but don’t you wanna do it better?

Q: Why do you think you as the author are better at shaving when you aren’t even a boy?
A: I don’t think I am better at shaving. I just wanna help you do it so you don’t harm yourself and others (Boys who don’t know how to shave can be deadly dangerous to themselves and the community!)

Q: Why do I even need to shave?
A: You need to shave in order to control the presence of fine hairs above the upper lip and on your chin called the mustache and the beard (those hairs AREN’T called whiskers!)

Q: So what if I have a mustache and a beard?
A: You might get into trouble with the rules at your school and if you let the facial hairs grow too long, people might mistake you for Ernest Hemingway!







Note: The author is not responsible for any injuries whatsoever inflicted upon yourself and others after following the manual!




The following are steps to get a perfectly (Almost!) shaved chin in the morning! Follow them carefully in order to be properly shaved.

1. Wash your face. The dried saliva might cause a detonation when it is mixed with shaving cream!
2. Put some shaving cream on your chin and above your upper lip.
Cheat sheet: Make yourself resemble Santa minus the red suit and cap and the shaving cream should be in the proper place.
3. Pick up your razor or blade or electric shaver (recommended: Gillette)
4. Start shaving! You should go from up to down or from side ways. Go for the direction you are comfortable with!
Cheat sheet: Use one hand to hold the skin nearby the direction you’re going to shave! It helps a lot. Oh yeah, be careful with the blade!
5. Once you’re done, wash off left over shaving cream.
6. You are advised to use an after-shave as they moisturize the skin after shaving and they also make you smell nice in front of your girlfriend!
7. You are all set to go anyway with that perfectly shaved chin of yours!


Look at yourself in the mirror, aren’t you perfectly shaved now?

Shaving Facts

· It hurts to shave for the first time for some men!

· Barbers who offered shaving services in the olden times had to be very careful. If the razor slips from their hand, their customer would be gone FOREVER! It does solve the problem with complaining customers though!
· Some men don’t bother putting shaving cream, they just shave without it. Not advisable though!

By: Nur Alia
Originally for: Nik Rashid Bin Nik Zurin
Inspired by: The act of Rashid bullying Shahira! LOL!
Thanks to: Nik Shahira Binti Nik Zurin

My best friend's Maid of Honour speech...

Nik’s Maid of Honor Speech to AliaGood evening everyone, I am Nik Shahira. I am Alia’s maid of honour and today, well you know. The speech crap.Alia, Alia, Alia…. You….You amazing thrill ride! You’ve grown up so much, sweetheart. I’m so proud of you! But I’m so FURIOUS!!! How on Earth, I ask myself a THOUSAND times, could that douche bag next to you -No offense, dude- take you away from us- NO, ME!? HOW!? God, I even wished I could stab your hubby there ever since he magically swept you off your feet …but you know what? Whatever! You’re happy and that makes me wanna burst in joy every second! I couldn’t be happy for you more than I could now, baby.But GAH, ALIA!- EFFING Finally! Remember the times we sat through Deanna’s wedding with NJ, filled with the hope that someday, it would be one of us up there with a sexy guy? Gone are the lonely nights we talked until the early hours, crying over the fear that it might never be one of us up there. And now…Say goodbye to bad blind dates arranged by Carmen and relentless pestering from Joyce who was always trying to fix you up with the wrong guy. Say goodbye to scanning all those sad profiles on the Internet dating sites I gave you during my Milo withdrawal insomniac nights, looking for someone to peak your interest. And I gotta tell you, Alia, you are one helluva fish to catch. Josh over there, certainly hit the mother of all jackpots! But ah! How happy are you that you will never again have to fight with the other single girls to catch the bouquet? TEE HEE, I’M HINTING MYSELF HERE! Can you believe that you actually get to be the one tossing the bouquet this time?Well, I sure can. I always could. I knew during those awkward and naughtyintroductions at happy hour, when one of our friends invited a single hot guy and didn’t tell you. I knew when you were secretly picking out your own sexy wedding gown of your liking on all those shopping trips for the other bubbly girls who were engaged. I confess I got a little worried when you started dating Mr. Wrong. What was his name? The guy we called “OH GOD, HE’S A CHICK.” I knew there were better things in store for you. And, thankfully, you did too. HELL YEAH, YOU DID BABE!And then there was Josh. The guy we called “the hot dude we like.” I remember when you first told me he could be “the one.” I could just picture it. Joshdown on one knee, asking you to make him the happiest man in the world while you lift up your right leg and squeals, offering you that beautiful diamond ring, you in that gorgeous gown, me making this speech.It may have been many years in the making, but (groom) was certainly worth waiting for. It is so great to finally see you so happy! NOW GO HAVE SEX LADY!